I am Jill's...

Fight Club is fun to read and nice for the creative side...

I am Jill's Dramatic Mind.
I am Jill's Failure to Communicate.
I Am Jill's Complete Lack of Surprise.
I Am Jill's Smirking Revenge.

I Am Jill's Twitching Trigger Finger.

I am Jill's Dirty Little Secret.

I Am Jill's Medulla Oblongata.
I Am Jill's Empty Head.

I am Jill's Breaking and Entering.

I Am Jill's Right Side.

I am Jill's Disturbed Nightmares.
I am Jill's Overwhelming Rage.

I am Jill's Fear and Loathing.

I am Jill's Missed Faith.

I am Jill's Undying Love.

I am Jill's Unnerving Happiness.

I am Jill's Lack of Trust.

I am Jill's Handful of Frustration.

I am Jill's Warm Bath.

I am Jill's Lucid Athleticism.

I am Jill's Non-Existing Hangover.

I am Jill's Wasted Talent.

I am Jill's Fresh Stereotype.

I am Jill's Abstract Control.

I am Jill's Designated Wilderness.

I am Jill's Sensual Firestarter.

I am Jill's Turbulent Happiness.

I am Jill's Skillful Debate.

I am Jill's Incompetent Emo.

I am Jill's Old Language.

I am Jill's Bag of Conspiracy.

I am Jill's Warped Fear.

I am Jill's Proper English.

I am Jill's Perfect Day.

I Am Jill's Shiny Interest.

Soup 'n Flowers

This made me laugh so I thought I would share it with the internet...

From Wil Weaton's website:

" 'I've made so many different recipes from so many different places, I just looked through the pantry and refrigerator and wung it.'

We looked at each other. 'Wung it?' I said. 'I think I mean I am winging it What's the past-tense of winging it? Wang it? Winged it?'

'I don't know, but it's not 'wung it,'' she said. I couldn't argue with her."

__________________________________________________________________

Gorgeous day today. Pushed the couch into the sunlight and catnapped after work. Bought flowers that I should've just planted from bulbs last fall but didn't really think it through. They smell nice anyway.

Should

One man's crap is another man's...

She walks by an elliptical trainer, facing the jungle gym, rain beading up on the grips, dripping from the saddle. It looked like a puppy tied up outside a store, patiently waiting for an owner to return. Maybe it belonged to a soccer mom, who, sitting on the bench watching her kids running around screaming at the top of their lungs. Maybe the woman felt fat and lazy but the idea of running around with the kids seemed too childish and ridiculous so why not bring out the old elliptical to get some exercise in while the children played…

She makes her way through an alleyway and passes by forty Globe and Mail newspaper boxes lined up in perfect rows. She spends the rest of her walk to work trying to figure out whether they’d been retired permanently or just been switched out for newly designed ones. What a waste…

Later that day, she spots a giant screen TV as she made her way home. Too bad she didn’t have that elliptical from earlier. That way she could set up like that scene from Juno and get all her TV watching in while exercising in a low-impact sort of way. She also wouldn’t mess up her eyesight or her back by trying to lean over mid-workout to make out the faces on her favourite tv shows. Maybe not…

She wonders what the warm weather will bring for the back alleys of Vancouver. What other treasures await and how much she can decorate the backyard with useless crap arranged into bedroom and kitchen sets before her landlord starts to complain…

Tough

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going and when the going gets rough, the tough get rough..."

Worst part of my ride to work/best part of my rides home...

I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence. I will not hunt down commuters on the road just so I can breeze past them with a casual cadence.

The frustration never ends nor the hunt ever sated.

This goes for bikes and cars alike...

Why I love Chuck Klosterman...

• "Recognizing Your Nemesis:

- At some point in the past, this person was (arguably) your best friend.

- You and this person once competed for the same woman, and you both failed.

- You have punched this person in the face.

- If invited, you would go to this person's wedding and give them a spice rack, but you would secretly hope that their marriage ends in a bitter, public divorce.

- People who barely know the two of you assume you are close friends; people who know both of you intimately suspect you profoundly hate each other."

Poster Poser

Sometimes I wish my life was lived in early 1900s' posters...