Mascot Theory

So, the London mascots are here to be seen... The National Post put out this article titled "Olympic Mascots: Who's laughing now, London?" which made me burst into laughter... whoever came up with that headline deserves a prize of the Ed Henczel variety.

Here's the article, if you want to read it.

Then you can go to the London Olympic Mascot Website Here

Wenlocke and Mandeville are pieces of steel molded from leftovers of the piping for the London Olympic stadium. Or at least that's what the video that they created on their website says.

They've each got one eye that's supposed to be a camera, they don't talk, they barely have mouths, and they look almost like a cross between characters off a TV show I used to watch as a kid:

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"Oh hey guys... nope, this isn't some sort of joke... we're the mascots..."

See where I'm coming from? C'mon, England... 18 months and god knows how many hundreds of thousands of British pounds and this is what you come up with?

Alright, alright, throwback to the working class - steel. Okay.

One eyeball in each mascot - camera, eyes are all on London. Sure.

But they still come off looking like a cross between a Star Trek symbol gone wrong and some sort of sextoy...

People like cute and cuddly. Especially when it comes to mascots. Especially when it comes to Olympic mascots. You should've seen it here during the Olympics. Sumi, Quatchi and all the rest were fuzzy little creatures that your 3 year old was not afraid to snuggle up in their bed with and they were flying off the shelves. Mandeville and Wenlock look like the stuff that three year old will be revisiting as an origin point for therapy years later. Okay, okay, maybe not quite so bad but really? This is what you really want to go with?

Even the names sound stiff... Wenlock - named for the village that hosted a precursor to the Modern Olympic Games in the 19th century, and Mandeville - which more likely sounds like the setting of a bad Sherlock Holmes knock-off or Thomas Hardy sequel than the birthplace of the Paralympic Games.

Aaaanyway, I'll stop whinging... I'm sure they'll be a great splash... though judging from the media backlash, this seems more like a karmic smack to the British for when their press tried to bring down the Vancouver Games...

It's like getting a sunburn because you forgot to put on your sunscreen and the press is that jerk who comes along and thinks it's funny to wind up and give you a big slap... Sorry, London... By taking on the Games, you've just lost a slap bet and this is Slap #1.