Someone once told me that Vancouver was like a bowl of granola – if people aren’t fruits or nuts, they’re flakes. I like the metaphor of Vancouver being like a pie or a pastry. Flaky at first glace but once you get through, there’s a little more substance. It seems that people out here are spending so much time convincing others and themselves that they are the West Coast embodiment of oh-so-casual and laissez-faire, it takes a little more work to get to know the real person underneath without them running for the door screaming in fear of commitment.
Sitting here typing on my laptop, I’m trying not to sound like a version of Carrie Bradshaw from Sex in the City but it’s hard not to remember and use many a conversation with friends about dating. At this point in our lives, it is a very popular topic.
Trying to demystify the world of relationships is a very fascinating, if frustrating, endeavour. Dating in general, dealing with the confusion of feelings, he said/she said, why men/women think the way they do, how to play the Game – the list goes on, and on, and on.
Sometimes it feels that you’ve covered just about everything, talked yourself in circles, yet there is always more to say. More What Ifs…, more Maybe It’s… Everyone is different and that’s what makes them so interesting and so infuriating.
The most interesting thing that I’ve run into lately is this idea of ‘the Game.’ Acting casual is the best way to go about getting a partner. Be assertive but also play hard to get. You get a text, a phone message, an email from someone you’re interested in. Well, wait a bit and let the person sweat. If you’re too interested, if you answer too quickly, you give away the Power. You give away control of the Game. Don’t be too eager because they’ll lose interest because you’re too easy, there’s not enough mystery. It all makes my head spin. Trying to figure out what to say, when to say it, whether it sounded silly, too eager, too aloof is exhausting to say the least. Talk to people who are already married or already in fully committed relationships and they all sigh and thank god they don’t have to deal with that sort of thing.
Whatever happened to being simple and straightforward and telling people how you feel? If they feel the same way, they should be mature enough to be able to reciprocate your feelings. If not, well, who wants to date a manchild anyway?
In other news, hiked the Grind yesterday... it was wet, it was cold, and it was AMAZING. My first real workout other than the slogfest that was the Cambie/Granville loop Mitchell dragged me around on Friday night... ugh. That was more than a little embarrassing. But anyway, the Grind was pretty fun. We didn't realize that they closed the gates at 4 when we got there at 4:45ish so we had to sneak our way through the BCMC trail. It definitely got dark by the time we got to the top. Chilly though. Good thing I'd brought my big bag with, according to Cedric, everything under the sun, which included a change of clothes.
The Starbucks at the bottom of the mountain is the most cozy and inviting-looking place as you shiver your way off the tram.
Quote du jour:
"All truth, in the long run, is only common sense clarified." - Thomas Huxley
Way to be Kersh. I've had those selfsame aggrivations with regards to dating, and you've expressed the whole thing very well.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on this. I see no reason to play cat and mouse, since the straightforward path works WAY better. I'm mature enough that if I want childishness (which isn't always a bad thing) I'll go play tag or get some folks together to play hide-and-seek or hit up a swing set or something.
On a more personal note, I'm terrible at sorting out how it is one is SUPPOSED to let on that you're attracted to someone without totally creeping them out. Additionally, when it comes right down to it, I'm still incredibly shy when it comes to women (As redonkulous as that sounds for someone as outgoing as me). That said, once I'm IN a relationship, I do more than fine, which is another reason why "The Game" just seemed like a good way for folks to get hurt, giving me all the more reason not to play.
I can't remember where I heard it, but the best advice I hard on this topic was as follows: "Don't let the game get to ya, as the only people you'll find there are players".
Cheers,
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